With deepest regret, the sad task has fallen upon this esteemed publication, to wit:  informing the world that the beloved Carrot Baby has died. Carrot Baby died early this morning in a gloriously sporting attempt to escape from the County Jail.  Allegedly, Carrot Baby blew through the sally port of said facility on a hopped-up…

12th Street Ricky was arrested yesterday after a four-state crime spree which terrorized parts of Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. The senseless rampage started in southeastern Kansas just north of the Oklahoma border.  According to law enforcement sources, it was there that 12th Street Ricky hijacked a DC-3 cargo plane after throwing its pilot down…