TOP SECRET: Details of CLASSIFIED negotiations and naming rights to all thirteen editions of the upcoming big fight, including subsequent rematches.
CLASSIFIED: These details are currently in negotiation and have been leaked, The Very Fake News has revealed, by way of an unnamed source deep within the bowels of the janitorial water closet at the Bureau of Sequestered Seawater, Sewage, Seaweed, SEWER GAS, Sea Scum, and Sea Salvage within the august auspices and agency of the Bilgewater Institute and Sanatorium.
TOP SECRET: The unnamed source, who is not authorized to leak this information, has, nonetheless, done so due to a WELLSPRING of enthusiasm.
CLASSIFIED: According to the anonymous source, corporate entities may append their name and advertising content to these CLASSY and EXCITING big fight titles, however, the core title may not be changed. For example: (Your corporate entity here) presents Kicked Out of Hell, Again and Again: The Return of Devil Girl XIV – Fiasco in the Desert XIV – Sugar and Spice, Kill Everything Twice Times Seven. This name is just for illustration purposes and is not available at this time (however, interested parties may inquire within due to the likely event of a further rematch or rematches – call the NIGHT DESK – ask for 12th Street Ricky – he’ll meet you on the corner – minimum nine figure cash deposit required – unmarked bills – use a throwaway – additionally, these names may be available to HOLLYWOOD STARLETS after rights of first refusal – check with 12th Street Ricky right down the block).
Here are the TOP SECRET and CLASSIFIED big fight leaks:
NEED TO KNOW BASIS ONLY:
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY:
Fiasco in the Desert I
Fiasco in the Desert II: The Return II
Fiasco in the Desert III – The Trilogy Straight from Hell III
Return from Hell IV: Fiasco in the Desert IV – Yet, Again, Rinse, Repeat, Redux, Some More
Hell Spawn V: Fiasco in the Desert V – Hell to Pay, Fresh out of Bucks, and Credit Card Denied, Again!
Son of Hell VI featuring Return from the River Styx: Fiasco in the Desert VI – Hell’s Blackest Triumph Returns
Daughter of Spawn VII (The Forbidden Fruit Pleasure): Fiasco in the Desert VII – Hell Freezes Over, Melts, Turns to Water, Steams, Boils, Cools Down, and Freezes Over Again, Again
Forbidden Spawn VIII: Hell Son’s Unwashed Progeny’s Own Hell Daughter’s Bloody Return – Fiasco in the Desert VIII – Blood on His Hands, Her Dress, The Black Cat, and Everything Else, Once More
Horror Spawn IX: A Lineal Curse – Hell Daughter’s Witch Child’s Revenge – Fiasco in the Desert IX – Hell’s Bells Ring Loud, Ring Clear – A Fury Scorn From Hell Returns, Again – The Black Cat’s Final Life IX
Revenge Child X: Hell Daughter’s Final Curse – Witch Child’s Reign of Terror – Fiasco in the Desert X – The Bloody Requiem, Again – The Black Cat Lives, Again X: The Return of the Nazi Kätzchen: Scratching the Gates of Hell, Again X
Fiasco in the Desert XI: The Reading of the Will XI – Hell Daughter’s Last Will and Testament: The Final Missive – All for Her and All For Her – Taking It Through the Gates of Hell XI – Witch Child’s Bloody Shilling – Eat Bloody Hell! XI – Witch Child’s Surging Bile Plate of White Hot Revenge XI
Fiasco in the Desert XII: The Reading of the Will XII – Certiorari Denied XII- The Immortal Dead – Witch Child’s Explosive Writ of Unholy Prejudice: VOODOO BABY – The Bloody Aftermath – Little Darlings Die For Real – Eat Bloody Hell! XII – Taking A Crib to the Depths of Hell XII – Don’t Dare Cry, Little VOODOO BABY
Fiasco in the Desert XIII: Witch Child’s Awful Rejoinder XIII – Halloween Night’s Midnight Hell – Friday the Thirteenth – 13 Hell Spawn Return From Hell 13 Times to Repeatedly (13) Exact Bloody Hell XIII – Run For Your Life Thirteen, Especially If You Are Already Dead, Again XIII – Hell Parents: 13 Dead Red Bouncing Babies From Hell XIII – DIE, LITTLE VOODOO BABY, DIE
(TOP SECRET SPECIAL NOTE: Debacle in the Desert I – The Almost Bare-knuckle Brawl! This very CLASSY, proposed, EXCITING and highly anticipated big fight event is in the multiple rematch planning stages. Only the most EXCLUSIVE and CLASSY corporate sponsorship will be accepted. Inquire within – call at midnight and we’ll front you 12th Street Ricky’s cell number – uh, that’s not a throwaway – it’s his cell number in the city jail – check visiting hours – CLASSY CORPORATE ENTITIES ONLY, PLEASE.)
(CLASSIFIED SPECIAL NOTE II: The above, very powerful TAGS, are for sale to the highest bidder. Contact 12th Street Ricky for the all-cash numbers – please include additional surcharge for bondsman. Thank you in advance for following the specified rules.)