A Nurse Made a Face at my Flyover State Haute Couture

A nurse made a face at my flyover state haute couture.  

I saw a celebrity athlete post on social media before going to a big event.  He posted a picture of his outfit and discussed the designer brand of each element.

I am truly inspired.

So, here is my designer outfit right now.

No camera can effectively do this justice.  So, forget about it.  Just close your eyes and dream.

Vintage Adidas soccer shoes which I first wore 15 years ago in New Mexico, so they must be exotic.

Vintage Levi’s jeans that are about 20 years old with a big, frayed, hole for each year I have had them.  Kind of like a tree.  These include a non-functional zipper.  I had to stop wearing these in public about ten years ago because a nurse made a face at my flyover state haute couture.  Sorry.

A vintage, 22 year-old, Radford University long-sleeved tee shirt turned inside-out.  I got this idea from Bill Murray in Lost in Translation.  In fact, this fashion-forward move has completely transformed my entire wardrobe.  Try wearing everything inside-out.  It will give you a completely new and fresh look.  But, keep the tags on, especially the price tags – that’s a small pearl of country wisdom.

A vintage, 20 year-old, orange, Miami Hurricanes baseball hat with a dirty patina so authentic it almost got my credit card rejected.  Must have been the big stain on the bill.

Also, this whole outfit doubles as pajamas.

A vintage, tropical, 26 year-old Rolex Air King watch.

What?

You didn’t think I was a poor slob or something?

Did you?