Fiction
14 posts
Pugilist: The shocking story of Jimmy ‘Lectroshock Dimtone. While no man ever beat him, aside from the comas, he met his match in the fabulous Mitsy. Jimmy Dimtone was born on May 5, 1950, in Lawton, Oklahoma, which, as everyone knows, is the biggest drug town in Oklahoma. Accordingly, at the age of four years
With deepest regret, the sad task has fallen upon this esteemed publication, to wit: informing the world that the beloved Carrot Baby has died. Carrot Baby died early this morning in a gloriously sporting attempt to escape from the County Jail. Allegedly, Carrot Baby blew through the sally port of said facility on a hopped-up
12th Street Ricky was arrested yesterday after a four-state crime spree which terrorized parts of Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. The senseless rampage started in southeastern Kansas just north of the Oklahoma border. According to law enforcement sources, it was there that 12th Street Ricky hijacked a DC-3 cargo plane after throwing its pilot down
TOP SECRET: Details of CLASSIFIED negotiations and naming rights to all thirteen editions of the upcoming big fight, including subsequent rematches. CLASSIFIED: These details are currently in negotiation and have been leaked, The Very Fake News has revealed, by way of an unnamed source deep within the bowels of the janitorial water closet at the
General Press Release: Correction re Capitol of the USA (United States of America). Location error to be corrected to avoid incorrect information. Earlier today, due to a typographical error, a Twitter sent on the Tweet account of LZ Lark incorrectly stated that the Capitol of the United States of America is Fairbanks, Alaska. This was,
He saw her in a waterhole on the Sunset Strip. She was hunched over a whiskey and a bad life. It was pulp romance, L.A. style, a short and rocky affair. Her hair, like her skirt, was long and unkempt. Neither her hair nor her skirt had ever met a comb or an iron. While
The PETROLEUM FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS was supposed to enable great zombie defense tactics, but the zombies got rich instead. This is a PETROLEUM FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS. It’s like a million year flood. You’ve got the Great Oil Lake out west. You’ve got the Mighty Light Sweet River cutting the country in two. What
